Let’s Talk About Body Count

March 20, 2023

All year round Nigerians fight and bicker over so many issues, especially issues connected to relationships and sex. But one issue that has stood the test of time, sadly, is the issue of “body count”.

For a country where over half the population is sexually active, conversations concerning sex always come with an unhealthy level of bias. This causes making sex and sex-related decisions unnecessarily tricky and complicated.

In the deeply patriarchal society that is Nigeria, it should come as no surprise that most people would only consider the question “should one’s body count matter in a relationship?” in relation to women. But on the contrary, it goes both ways.

Just like many men don’t like the idea of being with someone with a high body count, some women also share the same sentiment towards men.

Most parties who consider a high body count an issue, see it as a sign of a lack of self-control, self-respect, and a show of promiscuity. But does a high body count really reflect all of this?

Another reason why some people resent a high body count is that they like to bask in the idea that their partner is “untainted and untouched”. Which may have made a teeny bit of sense if they were also “untainted”. It is quite a shame to say that most people want to hold their partners to standards they also struggle to uphold.

Of course, there are always a few exceptions to this scenario, where most people expect their partners to uphold the same standards as them. So they both come to each other “untainted”.

But the question is when you truly love someone, should their past lifestyle pose a hindrance to what you both share? People believe love conquers all but why does it seem like the issue of one’s body count isn’t conquered?

Fear also plays a role in people’s hatred of a high body count. Fear of the past interfering with the present. Many fear that one day one of their partner’s “past” partners or sexual encounters would eventually show up and disrupt an otherwise peaceful relationship.

And sadly, this situation occurs more times than it should. We see it when nudes get leaked, sex tapes get released, and other similar terrible situations. But once again, if you love someone, should it matter?

In most cases, women are usually the ones who bear the brunt of the stigma that comes with a high body count. They get shamed for it, and can even lose relationships because of it. On the other hand, most men are applauded and held in high regard because for them it’s a sign of great sexual prowess(which it truly isn’t).

However, it all boils down to a person’s preference and choice. But while making that choice, it’s important to keep in mind that one’s sexual history doesn’t necessarily define a person. One’s sex life only accounts for a little percent of who that person is and of course, people change.

So do you believe one’s body count should be a major determiner in a relationship?