Single In Lagos

As unbelievable as it may sound, yes there are actually single people in Lagos. And no, I’m not talking about the ones who are actually in relationships and claim to be single. I am talking about pure singles, no relationship, no girlfriend or boyfriend, no situationship, no “hoes”.  

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for anyone to find a suitable partner in Lagos. It is important for anyone who’s still in the streets to pray regularly because judging by what’s left in the singles pool there is a major problem.

There is a saying that everyone in Lagos is mad. From the kind of stories we’ve heard, videos we’ve seen, and occurrences we’ve witnessed, it seems that there’s truth to this saying. 

The worst part of the whole thing is one could even be single in “Laygurss” without knowing. Imagine thinking you are finally off the streets, only to find out “even your boo get a boo” or even a wife/husband. 

For this reason, it would only be fair to say that most people in relationships are also single. They just aren’t aware of it yet. 

Being single might be fun at times but there’s a certain level of jealousy and want that possesses you when you see those in relationships post their cute videos and pictures. This oppression is so popular today, that it would seem like you can’t catch a break. You open Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok, and even Facebook, and all you see are couples everywhere. 

It can be pretty depressing. So you decide enough is enough, you must find a partner in this Lagos. 

You decide to try online dating– you create a tinder profile. And as you are swiping lo and behold, you see Femi the guy who vehemently served you breakfast last year by getting married. He is claiming to be single. You quickly swipe left. The next person you see is your neighbor’s husband saying he’s looking for fun. You are dumbstruck. 

Finally! you see someone you find attractive and you don’t happen to know.  You swipe right and get a match, you get talking and then you realize he or she is either a freak, a dumb person, or a hobosexual. 

If you are lucky, you might even manage to get a date with someone. When you finally meet up with said person, you get a hot serving of what I ordered vs what I got. And you are back to round one. 

It is quite heartbreaking. It doesn’t matter how pure your intentions are when searching for a partner in Lagos, there is an 89% chance who you find will show you pepper. 

Some single people are so unfortunate that they’ve never even made it past the talking stage. It seems like every week someone new is asking you what’s your favourite colour or tell me more about yourself. 

Sexual compatibility also plays a major role in why so many people are single in Lagos. Imagine after working a sickening 9 to 5 and almost giving up the ghost in traffic, and you come back home to a partner who wants BDSM. 

Or you finally find someone but they want an open relationship. 

Being single anywhere in Nigeria is hard, but being single in Lagos is harder. It’s almost like the city is set up against you. Plus it doesn’t help matters that Lagos babes and men have an extremely notorious reputation. So even if you find someone who piques your interest and they seem to have no problem or bad record. That itself is a problem. Because it is nearly impossible to find a good partner in Lagos. 

It is suspicious in fact to find a partner that checks all boxes or even half of the boxes. 

People who are left in the streets are either traumatized, have insane fetishes, are short, emotionally immature, wicked, too old, and entitled to mention a few. 

Sometimes when you think about what people in relationships face, it may seem like being single is a blessing. 

So if you are single in Lagos, it is best to look at the bright side– at least you go to bed every day knowing no one is cheating on you. Remember the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.